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a well lived bland life
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A New Chapter
The unfolding of a new chapter. A couple months ago I wrote that I was at a point where looking back, things made sense. I was standing at a point in my life where things were beginning to line up and the past was revealing why things happened the way they did. They happened to put me where I was, and to bring me to where I am now.
That point in my life was the prelude to this new chapter of life. At that point I had met a woman. This woman was a godly and god-fearing woman. She met the criteria of who my wife would be, who I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. From July through the end of November we became friends, and by that time it became obvious that we both had interest in each other. More so, we both had the desire to know if the other would be suitable as a spouse. This woman's name was Anna.
At this point, we did something unique and different from what is seen in the world today. We decided to court. Courting is defined as:
To try to gain the love or affections of, especially to seek to marry.
I’ve always felt old-fashioned and have always thought of myself as a traditionalist. I marvel at the ways certain things were done in the cultures of our forefathers. Certain things which are exemplified in Jane Austin novels such as Pride and Prejudice and the television showLittle House on the Prairie are very attractive to me. Life seems to have been simpler and more pure than that of today’s culture. Celibacy and purity were valued qualities to be sought after. I know that these cultures may not have been as pure and innocent as we think, but these are certain virtues and ideals that I’ve admired over time and have witnessed in these examples.
One night, after I thought we might both explode if we didn’t get things out in the open, I picked Anna up and we went to McFarland Park and sat in my car while it lightly rained, and we talked for about two hours. From that very first conversation, we were honest with each other and we put everything out on the table. I told her that I had interest in her and would like to court her with the intention of one day getting married. She smiled from ear to ear with a bright red face and said yes. We put all the cards on the table and weren’t going to mess around. The purpose of our courtship was to see if the other was the person we would spend the rest of our lives with. We agreed that at any time if we thought it wouldn’t work out, we would tell the other and it would be over. A couple of days later, I met with her father to ask for his approval, which he granted.
Over the next five months, we spent a large amount of time with each other, getting to know the soul of the other. Learning the other’s thoughts, beliefs, emotions, loves, hates, and struggles in life. We began praying together almost every day when we parted, always giving everything up to Him. We knew if this relationship was going to work, it would have to be because He wanted it to work.
Our courting experience was very unique, not only in the way we approached it but in the unique events that occurred during its progression. Anna was dealing with a mysterious pain that would sometimes bring her to her knees. We have almost exhausted medical explanations for the cause and have since begun exploring alternative pain management and allowing the Lord to work His healing in His time. From the beginning, when Anna was in pain, I was in pain. I couldn’t get comfortable and I just wanted to fix whatever was wrong with her. Since I could do nothing short of tearing the nerve from her body or just comforting her when the pain was at its worst, I began to rely heavily on God’s protection and His healing. Seeing Anna in such pain made me realize how much I cared for her and allowed me a unique opportunity to learn to take care of her as my heart yearned to do.
Another unique experience occurred on January 6, 2007 when I was returning home from a ski trip in Winter Park, Colorado. The van I was riding in was swept down a mountain by an avalanche. The experience of nearly dying made me realize some things about life that were hidden from me before. More to the point, it deepened my love for this woman. Anna tells me now that when the avalanche occurred, the first word she received was that we were in an avalanche and they didn’t know about me. Anna’s heart sank. She told me later that her first thought was she knew I couldn’t have died because I was the man she was going to spend the rest of her life with. I was thankful that Anna was not able to come on the ski trip, because she would have been by my side tumbling down the mountain, and I don’t think I could have borne her experiencing that.
Due to some uncontrollable circumstances, Anna was not able to be at the airport when I returned home two days later, and it crushed her heart. When I returned to Ames, I immediately drove to her work and rushed in the door. The scene that followed was like that out of a epic war movie where the hero returns from battle to his love. Neither of us said a word, but with tears in our eyes we ran to each other and held each other. I never wanted to leave her arms. In a voicemail message Anna had left me soon after the avalanche (which was unanswered as my phone was buried under ten feet of snow), she said ‘come back to me’. That’s what I did. I came back to my love.
Over the next months we grew closer to one another and deeper in love. We went on a family trip together back to Colorado over spring break and often spent time with each other’s family.
By early April we began to talk of marriage and I began to search for rings. It felt natural to discuss the subject, as it had been the intent of our relationship since day one, and we both knew we were meant for the other. Mid April I asked her father for his blessing and on April 28, 2007, I asked this woman, whom my heart longed so deeply for, to be my wife. With tears of joy in her eyes she said yes. As is uniform with our relationship, we set the date for as soon as possible - August 18, 2007 - to enter into marriage together. On this day we will become one flesh and begin on the adventure of life together.
As I started, this is the beginning of a new chapter. Although this chapter is unique in comparison to the many that proceeded it, it is also the first chapter in our life together.
I love you Anna, and I’m going to spend the rest of my life with you serving God hand-in-hand.
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Blando's Blog
Disciple of Christ, Husband, Father, and IT-guy.
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